Sunday, February 12, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
And the jury is out!
So apparently I had received two notices from the court’s offices regarding being selected as a potential juror. I said apparently because I was informed in a third letter that subpoenaed me to the office because I was ‘non-compliant’ in filling out the two previous forms that was mailed to me. I knew I mailed it back like two or three times… maybe two years ago. I figured they knew I wasn’t a citizen they would just move on and select someone else. Well, it didn’t go exactly like that. I don’t know for sure but I’m assuming the computer generates a list every year and my name is always on it seemed. So I was once again selected.
I went to work and asked for my day off to be switched so that I would be available on the day I had to go to the office and prove to them that I wasn’t a citizen. I was told “I can’t do that, its coupon and super bowl week, and did I have any idea how busy it was going to be?”
I began to envision me in front of a judge and being told to pay a hefty fine. I couldn’t afford any damn fine it was the beginning of the month and a whole new set of bills was waiting on me… So I pled my case some more and was told grudgingly I could switch my days. Sweet relief!
On the morning of my appointment, woke up early and my husband and I went to get the bus because of course his car is in the shop…again! This was the first sign that the morning was not gonna be an ordinary day. While waiting for the “Limited bus” we were told it would be a long wait because there was a terrible accident and the ‘Limited” was not forthcoming. The limited bus makes limited stops thereby getting us from point A to point B faster unlike the local which makes all the local stops. We got on the crowded local bus and next thing we knew we were on that bus for almost two hours!! Traffic was backed up for miles, even on the side streets vehicles were jostling and pulling ahead to get on the main. It was just ridiculous! I called the office at 8:45 a.m. (my appointment was at 9:30 ) and told the young lady who answered that I was on the bus in traffic and would be really late. She told me to still try and make it and I wasn’t gonna be that late. Wanna bet lady? I wanted to ask but she hung up and I was still stuck on the damn bus. Meanwhile there was an elderly gentleman who took my right shoulder for his own personal soft down pillow. I think he had the best sleep ever enroute to the last stop.
When we finally arrived and saw the lines wounding its way around a corner I was horrified! A friendly young lady on line was drinking coffee and I asked her if by any chance this was the line for marriage licenses. She laughed and explained that it for jury notices. Damn! I was on the right line, and it was windy and cold as hell. The line kept moving pretty fast which was a plus and soon we were actually inside the building itself in another long line which wound its way down and into another room where we had to go through scanners and then sent into yet another room. The process went by quickly after that and soon I was called up, presented my questionnaire all filled out, showed my proof of non-citizenship and that was that! I was thanked for coming in and I was free!!
My hubby and I went to breakfast and caught the next train to our respective destinations!
As soon as I got home I checked my mail and went through it quite thoroughly because I am not too keen on making that trip again any time soon. I am glad that was over and done with… until of course I get the next one…Lata people!
Monday, December 5, 2011
The Budding Musician
The Budding Musician
Oh my gosh, make it stop, please! Coming from my son’s room was a horrific sound that was a cross between a cat being tortured and crying for dear life and a rusty door hinge that badly needed lubricating.
I quickly clamped my hands over my ears and cringed while repeating to myself, “Please make it stop!” Mercifully it did.
He came out of his room in a huff and threw the clarinet on the couch beside me and declared “It’s not working…It’s just not working!” Face screwed up in frustration and shrugging shoulders as he stated his case.
Trying my hardest not to laugh I just said “really?” I’m really thinking, aren’t you supposed to make it work? The way you were abusing the hell outta that poor clarinet I cannot blame it. What would it say if it could talk? I tried harder not to laugh in his face.
I patted the space beside me and he sat. I began to impart wisdom.
“Sweetie, I told him, you have to warm up your vocal chords before you start playing. It’s very important that you do so for the best results. I continued. A runner just does not get up and start running; they usually stretch their limbs and muscles before they do. The same goes for you. Start by taking some deep breaths in and out, in and out as deep as you can, hold for two seconds and let it out slowly and smoothly.
“Ok mom I can do that.” He began, “huh, huh, huh” like an elephant being chased by hunters in the forest.
“No, no sweetie, not like that. Sit up, good posture is important, sit up and take a deep breath through your nose, count one one thousand, two one thousand and exhale slowly through your mouth. I demonstrated for him a couple of times and he understood. He tried it and began to cough.
“Good I say, you are clearing your airways and opening up your diaphragm.”
“That’s exactly what my teacher said, he told me excitedly. What exactly is a diaphragm he asked?”
“Well, it’s a part of your muscular system that helps with sound when one is singing or playing an instrument such as trumpet, clarinet, etc.” (Note to self, look up diaphragm)
We sat for awhile and practice taking deep breaths the proper way until he was sure he was ready to try again.
He got up, stood erect and started playing. My hand was itching to clamp my ears down but I needn’t bothered, he was playing beautifully! The one note that was giving him trouble he played without any problem.
“I think you got it” I said. He had a big grin on his face. I think he surprised himself.
“Was it because I took deep breaths?” he asked.
“Yes, it was partly that and most importantly you didn’t give up!”
“Now go to your room and practice some more until you feel you get it just right ok.”
“Ok mom, thank you” he said as he took the clarinet and leave the room.
I could hear him practicing and hitting really bad notes and I could almost hear him taking deep breaths as he continued trying. Any minute now I expected to hear him storming out the room and complaining again, but he didn’t, He kept trying! I smile to myself.
“Yes it was a small victory but I felt like a fricking genius!”
Lata people!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Without You
Life without you is lie
I smile to ease the pain
I laugh out loud concealing my heartbreak
My yearning for you is as natural as the air I breathe
I hear your voice, music to my ears
I hear your laughter, happy tinkling on my heart
Laughing, eyes twinkling, memories come pouring in
He looks at me and smile in kind
I’m quiet, my smiles and laughter
Not meant for him
Feel as if I’m betraying you
Feel as if I should be split in two
Life without you is a lie
Trying my best to be true
I can only be the best me when I’m with you
Feeling like an empty shell, existing, not living
Thursday, April 14, 2011
“See You Later?”
“See you later?”
Dammit! She meant that to be a light hearted and care-free statement, not a loaded emotional co-dependent question, as if she couldn’t bear to see him go, that’s the way it came out sounding to her.
Maybe I’m just being too sensitive she thought.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later” he said as he got to the door, turned to look at her and turned the knob.
She looked around the room and saw all their stuff; she took up the tee shirt that he slept in and inhaled his scent.
She couldn’t figure out what was happening in their relationship, she seemed very unsure of herself around him and he seemed to be tip-toeing around as if he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. It was becoming uncomfortable, a chore. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard, was it?
She remembered the first time they met and how awkward it had been. He was an athlete very good looking and sexy but seemed seriously unaware of it. He was low-key, humble and seemed very intense in a dark brooding way, kind of mysterious. She felt the attraction right away but was so shy and lacked self-confidence she ignored him.
He was a friend of a friend and when they were introduced he had the warmest smile and sincerity in his eyes when he said,”hi, how’re you doing?”
“Fine and you?” she’d answered.
“Good, good”, he had replied.
“I know you are related to Robert, is he your brother?”
“No, he’s my cousin, how did you meet him?”
“He came to the field while we were training and we started talking”.
That’s how it all began; she remembered she couldn’t believe he was talking to her. She wasn’t even in his league of friends, she was the one always in the background, the one everyone knows is there, but not really. She was excited and still thought it was just weird that he was so warm and charming talking to her. She had told her best friend; even she was impressed and jealous.
He came to the house many times after with the pretext of seeing my cousin Robert because my father was very strict so seeing Robert made the visit legit. He was a very brave young man and quite likable, so much so, that my dad began joining in the conversations and arguments they would have. She admired him and began to fall for him a little harder than she had thought possible.
That was fifteen years ago! They had been together ever since, except that one time when they got separated over a stupid misunderstanding and was apart for two months. He then got involved with a neighborhood girl who was just waiting for the right moment to pounce and pounce she did. Their daughter was now the product of that misunderstanding.
She was inconsolable when it had happened. He told her without holding back, the stark unvarnished truth about what had happened, he knew how much he had hurt her, he apologized. She was angry, she yelled, she chased him out of her life, she ignored him for days on end, she was crazy with indecisions. She questioned him about the minute details as if she trying to punish him over and over as well as herself. He answered every question without making excuses.
“We had a misunderstanding and you went and got a child, how the hell did that happen?”
“How could that have happened, I read, I analyzed, I took the blame, I thought I was too rigid, needed to be more loose, thought I needed to be more understanding, I thought and thought. I didn’t go out and sleep with the first guy I saw, you went and had a child, oh my God, who does that?”
He listened to my ranting and raving, he comforted me when I cried, he apologized and took full responsibility, I continued ranting and raving. I packed my bags, I fled with my heart and I cried some more. I ignored his phone calls, I ate very little, I internalized and questioned. I found out I loved wine-coolers. I listened to music and I thought some more. It was awful. It was painful. It was the beginning of a new truth.
We got through the initial shock and searing pain, we were now at a place where we were dealing with it; the pain of betrayal had lessened but was still present every time he came in later than he said he would or special birthdays and holidays came around.
Trust has been severely eroded but everyone deserves a second chance and he has proven himself ‘trustworthy’ ever since then, calling and checking in even though I had never asked him to do so. Trust can be regained, of course it can, but never to the degree it was once was and maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe one needs not to be too trusting, too secure in monogamy knowing that at any moment temptations and the lack of self-control can result in things unimaginable to one’s psyche and relationship.
***********************
The phone rang; startled for a second, still deep in thought, his tee shirt fell from her hand as she picked up the phone, “hello”
“Hi”
His voice did amazing things to her; it was like sweet wine on a cold, crisp winter’s night spreading warmth throughout her body.
“Hi”
“Just needed you to know that I love you, thinking about you and yeah I’ll definitely be back later because you’ll be there and I will always want to come home to you.”
“I know that, I love you too.”
“See you later!”
That time it came out just right! She threw the phone down, turned the music way up as she danced across the floor.
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