Mark-“ism”


My son woke up Saturday morning and after watching cartoons for awhile declared rather loudly,”moooooom I’m hungry!” I ignored him and tried to squeeze the last bit of sleep before I had to get up, which you know is impossible if you have a whiny kid like I do. I burrowed under the covers and ignored him and he kept yelling (you’d think I wear a hearing aid for gosh sakes) how hungry he was and I wasn’t giving him any food to eat.

Still trying to ignore him, I finally answered and told him to make his own cereal; he was old enough and to leave me alone! “But I want you to make it”, he whined, “You’re the mom”. Okay I said, still trying not to get up and knowing how lazy he was, I figured I have at least twenty minutes more, “wash your face, brush your teeth and comb your hair and then I’ll make you breakfast ok”.

“Oh my gooooosh, he whined, why do I have to do all that before I get something to eat”? ”Because that’s the deal if you want me to get your breakfast which I know you are capable of doing but too lazy to do it yourself, take it or leave it!”
“Oh my goooosh, blah, blah, blah and blah”.

He finally found the strength to actually get up from in front of the TV and went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth! Came into my room and asked me point blank, “why do I have to wash my face and comb my hair, why do I have to do all that, what does that have to do with eating, I can understand I have to brush my teeth cos I have to eat with them and I did brush them, but why mom, do I have to wash my face and comb my hair, doesn’t make any sense to me,” he said.

I’m like, OMG, this is too early, and why the hell didn’t I just get up and do it already?? I groaned and switch into parental mode, “Mark, washing your face and brushing your teeth and coming your hair is a ritual you do everyday ok, it should be a part of you, it’s called grooming.”
“No, no, nooo mommy, (rather firm voice) a grooming is someone you find at a wedding, that’s what a grooming is ok.”
I’m going,”what, what did you say?” like I’m stupid, which I probably am or I would’ve just given him the darn cereal and forget it, but noooo.

He had gone to his cousin Tisha’s wedding about two weeks ago and so now I guess he was the authority on what “a grooming” was and had no qualms in teaching me.

I patiently told him to go wash his face and comb his hair while I got up to go make his cereal. My annoyance was gone because I realized how in the face of his defiant attitude how sweetly innocent he was and I guess he was just trying to understand something that did not make any sense to him.

Well he certainly made my morning as I watched him eat his cereal and watch “Sponge Bob”, quite contented as he should be. I kissed him on the forehead and told him I loved him and went back to bed. Kids, whiny, annoying and lovable as they wanna be with a little comic relief thrown in for good measure and balance to boot! Who knew? Lata!